Absolution
by teawithremus
Summary: Remus stumbles onto a rendezvous that changes his life and questions his loyalty. RemusxSiriusxLily


Title: Absolution

Pairing: Remus/Sirius/Lily

Rating: R

Word Count: 2,152

Author's Note: Written for 7spells at livejournal; prompt : "if you wanted honesty" (Set 4, #1)

Warnings: If you are offended by non-graphic sexuality including slash (male/male) and three-in-one, please proceed with caution. Also, themes of disloyalty and infidelity are included; avoid if this makes you uncomfortable.

...

Lily's face, ashen. "Oh, you can't!" she gasped, blinking those verdant eyes at Remus as she tugged some of the blue bed-sheet from Sirius' grasp and wound it around her body, covering pale skin dotted with faint freckles. "Remus, say you wouldn't! You can't tell James."

"I have to," Remus answered grimly, refusing to meet her gaze as he thought of James. James had come to his defense many a time; Remus owed him the truth. "He's my best friend."

"_I'm_ your best friend," snapped Sirius, plainly perturbed. He swung his legs out of the bed, scarcely seeming to notice that he was fully nude, even inch of him tanned from hours spent working on that accursed motorbike, trying to make it fly. Remus refused to let himself notice the bare expanse of skin, lit golden by the summer sun, and ignored the question probing the back of mind: _how is it he doesn't have tan lines? _Paying no attention to Remus' stuttering and mumbling, Sirius placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, hoping there was some way to knock sense into his friend's head without them coming to blows.

Shaking his head, Remus drew away, his eyes drawn ever downward, past the firm chest, the curve of Sirius' hipbone..._no_. He closed his eyes, uttering a small and desperate prayer under his breath. He had seen Sirius naked before, but not quite like that: post-coitus and glowing, his mischievous grin felicitous and his body positively shining from the sheen of sweat he had worked up. _With Lily...Lily Evans!_ Remus reminded himself, giving himself a stern mental shake. _James girlfriend!_

"Be reasonable," Sirius coaxed, his innocent tone frighteningly predatory. "What will that accomplish? James will be miserable, Lily will be miserable -- I'll be spared the misery because I'll be dead -- and I don't expect you'll have an easy time of it, either. Think about it; there has to be a reason why someone came up with the saying 'don't shoot the messenger'." Raising an inquisitive eyebrow, he tried a tentative nod. "Yes?"

Thrusting his fingers into his hair, Remus bowed his head. "No, I -- I don't know." Self-consciously, he peeked through his fringe at Lily again, who was still perched there, on Sirius' bed, her red hair carelessly draped over her shoulders. In the muted light of the bedroom, her skin was positively luminescent.

"Please," Lily asked, catching him looking. Her pink lips formed the slightest pout. "Please, Remus."

"Come on, mate," Sirius tried again, clapping Remus on the back. He smirked at Lily, who gazed levelly back, the two of them exchanging silent dialogue as Remus twisted in confusion, stuck with the difficult choice of selecting honor or friendship.

Unable to look at the two of them with their secret glances -- _how did they become so close in the first place? _he mused -- Remus shrugged regretfully. "I'll go downstairs and leave you to it," he said quietly, thinking of the many times he had let his glance linger on Sirius as their two bodies were enveloped by steam in the showers. His eyes met Lily's as he frowned, remembering a cautious kiss they had exchanged a year previous, and the many times he had given over to daydreams of her while he was supposed to be studying in the library. "I won't say anything to James or Peter," he assured her, feeling traitorous and yet surprisingly light for it, after she beamed at him. Not wanting to look at Sirius, whose hand still lingered on his arm, Remus sighed. "I'll be in the common room, studying. That Transfiguration N.E.W.T. is supposed to be murder."

Silently, he spun around and padded away, fighting the urge to run from the disturbing scene of the two people who knew him best wrapped in each other's arms. It was disconcerting, their sudden solidarity, but what truly troubled Remus was the sense of being left out. He had worked so hard on his friendships, and still he was the odd man out. The scent of their sex lingered in the air still, pheromones swirling alongside the dust mites that descended from the ceiling, caught in a beam of sunlight. Wondering how they were going to cover _that _up when James and Peter returned from their Care of Magical Creatures N.E.W.T., Remus failed to hear the sound of Sirius hurrying after him.

"Remus," Sirius started, shaking his head. The grin was gone now, replaced by barren concern. He had Remus' promise, but that was not enough, and in spite of himself he had a twinge of conscience watching Remus' slumped shoulders. "Look, mate, it isn't what you think. We just --"

"I don't want to know," Remus interrupted, the words emerging harshly from his throat. Glowering at the door as if it had offended him in some way, he tensed as Sirius touched him again, placing a warm hand on his arm to draw him back.

Even though Remus refused to look at him, Sirius seemed to read the truth in Remus' amber eyes. There was not enough modesty in Sirius for him to blush, but he looked momentarily bashful, stunned by the revelation of thwarted desire. "No, don't go," he managed, his fingers tightening their hold on Remus. With a smoldering look, he attempted a hint of a grin. "Stay?"

"What?" Remus choked, convinced the whole episode had been such as shock to him that he had been driven mad.

"Stay," Sirius repeated, sounding more certain of himself this time. He glanced over to Lily, who nodded serenely, studying Remus intently as he swayed, torn between escape through the doorway or lingering in the room, becoming more than a mere accomplice in their act, a full-blown participant in the crime.

Somehow, Remus found the words to stammer his acceptance, and dutifully allowed himself to be led over to the downy bed. With its red velvet curtains, pulled closed as they passed for the explicit purpose of blocking out unwanted voyeurs, the bed seemed the microcosm of all of Remus' illicit fantasies and imaginative daydreams. Sirius' grin was irrepressible, with his hand sliding carelessly to Remus' thigh. A red glow shone of sunlight through the hangings, highlighting the curves of Lily's body as she welcomed him to slide beneath the slippery silk bedclothes. Her clothing had been scattered, dropped carelessly on the floor alongside Sirius' trousers and shirt, and Remus soon found his own items joining the pile. For once, he was unaffected by his usual fastidiousness and let the items lie as Lily smiled at him, one hand cupping his chin as she leaned over to kiss him gently.

"I've thought about this forever," she said shyly, biting the ridge of her fingernail as she looked him over. "Ever since last Boxing Day."

"What's this?" demanded Sirius, appalled to have such a secret kept right under his nose. He studied Remus with new appreciation, respect evident on his face. "What happened on Boxing Day?" he asked, frowning thoughtfully. He remembered Christmas Eve well enough, though Christmas Day was much a blur; after presents and crackers and feast, he, James, Remus and Peter had broken into their cache of liquors and the atmosphere of Gryffindor tower had become entirely too festive. Boxing Day was just a dim memory of bitter headache tonic and persistent nausea. "Tell me!" he urged, smacking Remus with a pillow when both he and Lily remained quiet, lost in a private exchange.

"He kissed me, you lush, when you and James were unconscious from excess fire-whiskey," Lily supplied, full of affection for both of the young men in the bed. "Everyone else was resting up after all the celebration, and we had to find some way of entertaining ourselves."

Leaning over to plant a kiss on Lily's lips, Sirius pretended to glower. "You should have woken me up. I can't believe you left me out!"

"Oh, Padfoot," Remus sighed, but he did not have much time to dwell on sympathy for his friend, because Sirius suddenly pushed him down, pinning his wrists to the mattress in a fierce grip.

Smirking as he beheld his prize, Sirius bent low to lick Remus' bottom lip delicately using the tip of his tongue. For a moment, Remus struggled, but then his body relaxed and he moaned softly, unable to comprehend the fact that he was being snogged by his best friend. All of his previous assumptions about the impossibility of just that shattered easily as he parted his lips, letting Sirius in. Sirius' kiss was rough, accompanied by the scrape of stubble that stung and delighted Remus all at the same time. His mouth tasted like butter-beer and peppermint, and Remus found himself panting for more when Sirius finally let him up.

"Mmm," he managed, dizzy from the physical onslaught, and pleased by it.

Sirius, who had worried that Remus would have reservations about it all, slumped gracefully against his pillow, languidly stroking Remus' hip. There was heat between them, the heavy air practically aflame for it all, and Remus found himself understanding how two people could turn their back on truth and loyalty for this. _Three people_, he corrected himself, sighing blissfully as he let his hands explore Lily's body. She was all warm curves beneath his palm, laid bare except for her feet, which rested in a shimmering sea of blue silk. Cocking an eyebrow, she kept a straight face as she parted her legs and pulled him closer against her, so that he could feel the dampness of her body. The expression of amusement and desire was all the prompting he needed to press himself against her.

Remus' arousal was instantaneous. Skin flushed, he kissed her mouth, hard, before claiming her, reveling in the slippery heat of her body and shaking as she clutched him, her sharp nails tracing thin red lines down his back. "Lily," he murmured, a shiver running down his spine as she whispered his name in return, her hands in his hair. Raising her hips off the mattress, Lily guided his rhythm, her sharp, quick breaths encouraging him to pick up speed, but it was the sudden pressure of Sirius against him that made Remus' eyes open wide. Sirius' lips trailed kisses down Remus' neck and back, giving tiny nips that tore the breath from Remus' lungs and made his eyes glassy with pleasure. He heard himself crying out, his quickening gasps joining Lily's moans as he held her tighter, closing his eyes and giving into the rush of pleasure.

...

An hour later, the curtains parted as Sirius, bare-chested and barefoot, clad only in a pair of bellbottom jeans, slid off of the bed to go in search of James and Peter. It was beautiful weather outside, and the sunshine streamed down onto the surface of the lake, creating a jeweled reflection as the water rippled. The sun had fallen from it's prize position high in the sky and hung low, near the horizon, but there was an hour or so left of daylight, and Sirius thought of swimming and Quidditch and the wind in his hair.

Remus watched him go, feeling no twinge of resentment the way he usually did when Sirius and James went off on their own, leaving him to his own devices. Breathing in the humid air that surrounded him, Remus could still pick up his friend's hot scent, accompanied by a fragrant hint of Lily's perfume.

"I'd better go too," Lily said, reaching over to pick up her skirt from the heap of clothing on the ground. Yanking it over her thighs, she smiled, combing back a stray red lock with her hand. "I promised Benjy Fenwick I'd tutor him for the Potions exam. How he got into Slughorn's N.E.W.T. level class, I'll never know." Leaning forward, she touched his face gingerly, her eyes still radiating warmth. "Thank you for a wonderful time."

Flushing, Remus nodded. "Of course."

"You won't mention anything to James," she ventured hopefully.

"Of course not!"

It was worth all the betrayal in the world to see her beaming at him as they hugged goodbye, and Remus was still caught in the afterglow when he closed the door behind her and padded over to the showers, not quite ready to wash the feel of her and Sirius off of his body along with the sweat that shone on his skin. He pushed the mental picture of James' face out of his head, thinking instead of Sirius' possessive kiss and Lily's tender touch as he leaned into the stream of cold water that stripped away the evidence of their actions and bathed him in chilly forgiveness.


End file.
